Friday Music: The Avengers Before They Were Cool

A lot of people wonder how did the Avengers get so popular? Well obviously, Robert Downey Jr. sold his soul to Mephisto. I don't know why people don't realize that. A lot of you kids out there don't remember the 60's like I do when I lived it!!! That's right I'm 86 years old and still kicking! But here's your favorite heroes as they were in their glory days when there was free love, really crappy weed, and overrated music!

1. Iron Man

Now this is easily the best theme of all the ones you're going to see. It has that classic feel and Iron Man really is the most tomorrow land esque of all the Avengers. This theme song sounds like something he'd have Lena Horne write for him and sing at any of his jazz clubs he owns while talking up the hottest girl possible who has a little too much plump for my taste. THANKS HOLLYWOOD FOR CHANGING THAT!!!!

2. Thor

You know for a God, they sure skimped on the cost of the production of this video for the theme. I like to think the cartoon  had characters barely moving like it was a bad episode of Sealab 2021 that always ended with Thor slowly raising his hammer and then BOOM!!! Lighting flash, and roll credits. Also, the 60's probably wouldn't start with a rainbow if they knew what the future held for that symbol. They were pretty homophobic for an era of free love.

3. Captain America

My favorite! America! Red and white and blue! I will say the way he throws his shield does not seem to be the most aerodynamic way but I will give it this, the theme song is to the point and does its job. The video just doesn't do it justice.

4. Hawkeye

The guy who made this is my hero! Arrow!

5. Black Widow

Hahaha, Black Widow never got anything in the 60's except being a communist. Also trailers in the 50s were horrible. Ginger Rogers would probably kick Scarlett Johansson's prominently shown on the posters ass. 

6. The Incredible Hulk

Are you kidding me? This is fantastic!

"Doc Bruce Banner,
Belted by gamma rays,
Turned into the Hulk.

Ain’t he unglamor-ous!

Wreckin’ the town
With the power of a bull,

Ain’t no monster clown
Who is as lovable.

As ever-lovin’ Hulk! HULK!! HULK!!"

As ever-loving' btw could not be more mumbled. I just picture the music producer just nodding his head after listening to it once, "Fucking nailed it."

*BONUS*

7. Sub Mariner

Haha, if this is your friend's favorite super hero, he probably cheers for the bad guys in telenovelas. Good night everybody!

-Joe Bates